Sunday, November 9, 2014

Some Comic Relief

Horsey Humor

Hock – the financial condition of all horse owners.
Stall – what your trailer rig does at rush hour in an unfamiliar city on the way to a big horse show.
A bit – what you have left in your pocket after you’ve been to your favorite tack shop.
Fence – a decorative structure built to provide your horse with something to chew on.
Horse auction – what you think of having after your horse bucks you off.
Pinto – a green coat pattern found on freshly washed light-colored horses left unattended for 2 minutes in a pasture.
Well-mannered – a horse that hasn’t stepped on, bitten or kicked any human for a week.
Rasp – an abrasive metal tool used to remove excess skin from one’s knuckles.
Longeing or lunging – popular training method in which a horse exercises the human by spinning them in circles until dizzy.
Gallop – customary gait a horse chooses when returning back to the barn.
Nicely started – the horse longes but there is not enough health insurance in the world to even think about riding him.
Colic – gastrointestinal distress in people after eating food at horse fairs and shows.
Colt – what your mare gives you when you want a filly.
Easy to load – only takes 3 hours, 4 men, a 50 lb. bag of oats, and a tractor with a loader.
Easy to catch – in a 10 x 10 stall, that is.
Easy rider – rides good in a trailer…not to be confused with “rideable.”
Endurance ride – end result when your horse spooks and runs away with you.
Hives – what you get when you receive the vet bill for your horse.
Hobbles – walking gait of a human after their foot has been stepped on by a horse.
Feed – expensive substance used to manufacture manure.
Dog house – what you are in when you spend too much money on grooming supplies and pretty halters.
Light cribber – we can’t afford to build any more fencing or box stalls for this buzz saw on 4 legs.
3 gaited horse – a horse that trips, stumbles and falls. 

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